tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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