That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
