this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
