so that wasnt chicken after all
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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