oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My liver just had a heart attack.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
