It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
