So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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