Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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