Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i think i just lost a toe
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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