You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I will be naked everywhere
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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