I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
