Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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