So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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