You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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