i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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