He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
