Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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