what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
my poor anus
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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