Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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