she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
