Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
