Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
