It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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