I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
