lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
