oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
