well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
