Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
