And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
