Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
