I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
