If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
