My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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