WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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