Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
