That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
