HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
