I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
