he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
