The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
