dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
