FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
