i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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