Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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