Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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