Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
