The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
