Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
