i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
