Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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